Somehow...

I'm here. Still...

Mind Blown

Scars and all.
Resentment six feet tall.
My heart is yours.
I've zeroed scores.

Failure be damned.
My guns are manned.
I search for land.
Telescope in hand.

My bounce hitting crest.
I hope to coast before I rest.
Plateau this high.
Enjoy the sky.
Bask in my sun.
Undone is done.

Seriously...

That woe is me shit is for the birds.

Honestly, I never believed it to begin with. I was just trying some reverse psychology on the universe.

Happy New Years people.

I'm wrong.
It's just hit me.
I keep hitting a wall because I'm not right.
In the head.
In my actions.
In my perseverance.
I'm wrong.

Delusional, sad and defeated.
I wish you all a happy holidays.

Everyday...

I do something more worthy of derision. Everyday I feel deserving of this unending sentence of poverty.
My skin is a mess, my clothes dirty and wrinkled. I could be mistaken for a homeless person if I didn't refrain from talking to myself in public and confine it to the safety of my own home.

One day it won't be like this.
I just hope it's one day soon.

Bumbling 90th

Somehow, I feel at ease.
Considering what I've been through in the past 3 years, I know I could feel worse.
I'm a delusional crazy person and I have staked my life on my ability to perform in an area where I've only marginally succeeded in the past.
I have good contacts but moderate abilities to make anything of those connections.
I have great ideas and no way of making those ideas come to fruition.
I had faith in myself where maybe I shouldn't have.
I'm a failure.
This feels like another stumbling block on a road to lower mediocrity.
I really thought I was special.

I would give my left ovary...

for a big, hot cup of coffee.