I'm going to be 29 tomorrow.
I won't pretend I had outrageously high hopes that I would be jetting off to Paris to celebrate. I thought maybe I would be solvent by now. I thought maybe, I'd be able to buy myself a meal or a drink.
Instead, I find myself wondering how I'll keep my lights on past Tuesday.
I have not progressed.
If anything, I've regressed. I have hopeful plans but I had hopeful plans last year also.
I've had intermittent employment. I even had a relationship briefly.
I think I'm really bad at life. I think Fail should be my legal name.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way.
I'm sure feeling this way and wallowing in it to an extent isn't bringing anyone any solace.
I know it's not helping me.
For my birthday, as a gift to myself, I'm going to ease up. I'm going to give myself a break. I'll not rationalize or excuse my lack of progress. For 24 hours starting tomorrow, I'll stop beating myself up for the quagmire I now find myself in.
I'll wait until Sunday to restart the hand wringing and plotting.
Hi :) I found you through another blog and so I've only recently started reading. I can't say that I understand absolutely everything you're going through because no one can honestly say that unless they've been exactly where you are. I can offer my best wishes and positive outlook that things will get better. Also, here's a link to my recent b-day post...you're not the only one who gets bummed about the big day. http://misskitty-randommeows.blogspot.com/2010/08/i-woke-with-this-fear-what-am-i-leaving.html
ReplyDeleteHi, thanks for the kind words. It means a lot to have your psychic support.
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